


The Duke of Dutches

by blueoleandar93



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Crack, M/M, Netflix and Chill, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 13:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6612463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueoleandar93/pseuds/blueoleandar93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morgan surprises his favorite pretty boy with old movies and snacks, but when he gets to Reid's place its obvious that the young doctor was already busy. </p><p>In honor of 4/20.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Duke of Dutches

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after smoking 3 Ls within a few hours :) :) :) because my friend dared me I couldn't :) :) :) and I had to prove her wrong because I'm a boss ass bitch and boss ass bitches can do anything :) :) :)
> 
> this is also unedited unbetad because i have no fucks i lost my fucks in an uber last week and havent been to the fuck store in a while im so sorry i have none left to give and thusly i give none

Reid had scampered out of the office like his ass was on fire, leaving the sound of squeaky sneakers in his wake as he jumped into the elevator the moment the clock struck five. Morgan and JJ watched with concern from the open window of Rossi's office as Reid took his rather hasty leave. They could almost hear the vroom of the roadrunner from thirty feet away. Morgan and JJ looked at Rossi. Rossi looked at Morgan and JJ. It was silent for a moment. All three of them had forgotten the sallow topic of their arrest records from last month as all of their attention turned to the suddenly missing doctor in their office.

"So, you guys all saw that, right?" Rossi asked.

Morgan nodded as JJ replied, "Yeah."

"Alright. Just making sure." Rossi shrugged, turning to the pile of case files on his desk, "Now, about our arrest records. We've had a decline in our number of cases since last month. We've been taking the jet once a week instead of twice. JJ, did the precincts ask for--"

Yeah, nah. Morgan wasn't paying attention to that. He understands. He's second in command of the team, this information is for his ears just as much as it is for the media liason, blah, blah. But, after watching Reid take off like that, he was understandably distracted. Morgan was already thinking the worst. Maybe he wanted to be left alone. Maybe he's secretly having a really hard time. Maybe he went to cry in the bathroom. Maybe he's worried that he doesn't have love in his life like everyone else and the team doesn't have his back emotionally. That's not true. They do. They love him! Especially Morgan. 

The moment Rossi ended his meeting with JJ, Morgan followed suit. He headed to his office and grabbed his briefcase and keys before jogging to the elevator. He waved goodbye to the rest of the team as he cleared the glass doors, wondering just how he was going to surprise Reid. He settled for heading to the supermarket and picked up some of Reid's favorite snacks: cookies, chocolate milk mix, licorice, and cake icing. Oh, yeah. It's going down in the candy aisle tonight. No seriously. It's going down in the candy aisle. Look at all these people in the snack section. Hmm. Weird.

As Morgan waited in an unnecessarily long line attached to register 4, his eyes fell on a pile of discount DVDs. To entertain himself, he leafed through the pile and when his hand landed on a copy of the Princess Bride. Morgan's heart tightened in his chest as he remembered a conversation he had in the car with Reid. He loved this movie. Apparently, he used to watch it with his mother. They know every word. Morgan tossed it into the cart. Nothing's better during some TLC than positive family feelings. As he paid for the snacks and movie, Morgan could only feel good about his choices. He can't wait to surprise his friend with a fun night indoors. Reid would love this.

Morgan revved up his Jeep and made his way to Reid's apartment with a knowing smile, blasting Rakim on his radio. He parked in the visitor lot and grabbed his plastic bag of goodies. He walked through the parking lot, he noticed more people walking slowly in the parking lot, collecting in groups as they passed Pringles back and forth, slinking around lazily with fistfulls of chips in their hands. Weird. Morgan shrugged it off, pushing through the groups of young people and heading to the steps across the lobby. He headed up the steps and walked up to the third floor, wincing as trap music echoed down the halls. Last time he checked, Reid lived in a pretty chill environment. What's with all these college kids? Morgan rolled his eyes and opened the third floor door, heading to the seventh door down the hall and knocking. 

He stood at the door for at least twenty seconds before knocking again. Maybe Reid didn't hear him. 

Morgan knocked again. No one. Morgan folded his arms and knocked a third time and the door opened quickly, Reid stared at him firmly from the little space he created as he cracked it lightly, "Oh, shit. Morgan. Hey. What's up?"

"You seemed a little off today, so I decided..." Morgan lifted up his bag with a broad smile, "Snacks and movies! Come on, let me in. Let's have some fun."

Reid blinked slowly, nodding as if he was slowly understanding Morgan, eyes drawn to the bag of candy, "Um, yeah... that sounds good. But... I'm kinda busy right now."

Morgan grinned, "That's cool. Anything I can help you with?"

Reid shook his head sharply, "No, no, no! I'm cool. Maybe you should come back tomorrow and--"

That's when Morgan caught it. A whiff was all he needed. Morgan placed his free hand on his chest as he cut Reid off, "Dr. Spencer Reid! Are you smoking trees in there??"

"What? Are you cr-crazy? No! No way. Actually." Reid shifted against the cracked door, running his hand through his hair with nervousness, "I'm appalled you would even say I would. Why in the world--how would I even obtain--it makes absolutely zero sense--I work for the government--there's no way--"

Morgan raised his eyebrows knowingly, "Fine. My bad. Open the door."

Reid made a face, "I'd rather not though."

Morgan gave Reid a look.

Reid sighed dramatically, "Fine. I'm hitting a bong right now and watching Sing Along Blog. Sue me."

"I thought you stopped taking drugs!" Morgan said sternly, passing Reid an even more stern glare.

Reid rolled his eyes, "Marijuana doesn't even count as a drug! It's basically like being drunk with none of the consequences."

Morgan gave him a small smile, "Nice way of putting it. But, it is a drug. And it's illegal."

Reid said simply, "So is walking the street away from the crosswalk and I've seen you do that so many times and I never pointed it out. I never said anything. I never did. Where's my award?"

Morgan asked quietly, "Are you high right now?"

Reid frowned, "Not really. I'm like two puffs in. Want some?"

Morgan rolled his eyes, "No. If there's a random drug test, I'm not getting fired."

Reid opened the door and thrust his hand out to the room. He wasn't lying. There was a long, blue glass bong right in front of the couch and Nathan Fillion was paused on his TV in mid belt note. Reid had a fresh bowl of popcorn set up too. No wonder he left so quickly. He was ready to spend the night unwound. Morgan walked in, smelling the loud ganja in abundance. Reid closed the door, following Morgan to the couch in his old grey sweats and CalTech tee shirt, "You know, you can just pee in a cup now and save that shit in your desk. That's what I do."

Morgan turned to look at him with wide eyes, "There's pee in your desk?"

Reid nodded, "Yep."

Morgan sighed, "I don't know why I'm surprised. Dr. Reid. The pot head."

Reid shook his head, "I'm not a pot head. I'm a Behavioral Analyst with the FBI. I have several doctorates, a high IQ, a cat named Cookie Dough, and a tendancy to smoke recreationally. Plus. I have a prescription."

Morgan shook his head, "Not in this state."

Reid smiled, "Ask my psychiatrist. I suffer from anxiety."

Morgan sat on the couch, unloading his bag of snacks, "That's the happiest I've ever heard anyone say that."

"The anxiety sucks. It's like Satan blowing on my nerves with a cattle prod at the ready every time I'm in a social situation, but the perks include..." Reid paused a moment, squinting his eyes to think, "Mmm, never mind. There are no perks. Just the weed. The weed rocks. The rest of it is awful."

Morgan wrinkled his nose, "How is weed a perk?"

Reid made his way to the couch, picking up the bong and sitting down beside Morgan, "First of all, it rhymes with my name. Reid. Weed. Yeah. Poetry." 

Morgan ripped open the bag of licorice, "Fascinating."

Reid pulled a lighter out of his baggy sweatpants pocket, putting it down next to the little bowl, "Mind if I take another hit?"

Morgan shrugged, "Go wild. Just don't blow it in my face."

"No promises," Reid chuckled, lighting the bowl of crushed marijuana and bending down to suck at the mouth of the bong. The bowl made this sound like there were bubbles in the bottom compartment and Reid stopped the flame, sucking in some air as he moved away from the bong, letting out a soft cough and leaning back to close his eyes, "Damn. Yes. Right."

Morgan pulled out a bag of Oreos and held it out. Reid gasped, hurrying to grab the cookies as he jumped onto Morgan's lap with a big hug wrapping them close. Morgan laughed, wrapping his arms around his definitely high friend, petting his soft curls, "You're welcome, Pretty Boy. There's also cake icing and licorice in here."

Reid pulled his face out of the hug, "I'm going to kiss you, okay?"

Morgan shook his head and laughed, "Dude, come on. No. You're welcome, but no."

Reid smiled, opening the bag and pulling out a cookie before putting the whole thing in his mouth. He eats Oreos like a madman. All at once. Who fucking does that? Morgan grabbed the remote at his side and turned the TV back on. Nathan Fillion was singing about how a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Touche. Morgan bit into a stick of licorice and asked, "Is it cool if I stay here for a little longer? I got all of these snacks for us and--"

"Dude, yes. Of course. Don't even worry about it. I've got some wine in the fridge too if you want some. Actually, I'll get myself a glass too. Might as well get crossfaded while I'm at it." Reid said easily, grabbing another cookie before trotting along to the kitchen. 

Morgan called out after him, "Who are you, man?"

Reid said from the kitchen, "An off brand superhero. Who are you? I think you might be--oh! Cookie Dough. No. Not there."

Morgan asked, "What?"

Reid said simply as the sound of the fridge door opening pierced through, "My cat. She's on the counter trying to drink out of the sink."

Morgan shrugged, "Okay, cool."

Reid returned to the kitchen a few moments later with two glasses of red wine and a smile as he passed Morgan a glass. He sat down on the couch, close to Morgan, snuggling into his side and pushing his face into Morgan's chest before taking a sip of his wine. Morgan glanced over at him with a heartwarmed smile, "You're like a little kitty when you're high."

"No, I'm not." Reid said, tilting back the glass and polishing it off with a few long gulps. He placed it down on the carpet with a wrinkled face, "Oh. That's definitely the sipping kind."

Morgan laughed, "You just chugged that whole glass, man."

Reid yawned, grabbing up the bong again, leaning forward and lighting the bowl up to pull some more plant into his lungs. He took a deep breath, smoke pouring out of his lips and the mouth of the light blue glass bong as he smiled slowly, "You sure you don't want any of this? You still have time to pee."

Morgan watched as Reid's head bobbed happily. This is the most chilled out he's ever seen Reid. The kid's usually just holding it together by his shoestrings. If it can make Tense-y McShoulderScrunch calm down, maybe it's worth picking up again. Morgan hasn't smoked since college and it's been a while and... Reid's right. He could save his pee too. It's gross, yeah, but it's a solution nonetheless. Morgan watched those sweet, precious little puppy eyes for another second before rolling his own toward the ceiling and asking, "Where's the cup?"

Reid clapped his hands and pointed to the kitchen, "Tupperware drawer is under the sink. Yes!"

Morgan took a tentative sip of Merlot and set it down on the floor beside Reid's bong, complaining loudly, "You just want to mess me up."

Reid said exasperatedly, "I've never seen you drunk before! I've known you for thirteen years and I haven't seen you drunk before. What is that?"

"I've seen you drunk several times." Morgan added as he made his way into the stark white, tiny as fuck kitchen, "I mean, at JJ's wedding you were... _beyond_ plastered. I had to drive you to my house, remember that. You slept on my couch for like an hour before crawling into bed with me and saying 'move over I want cuddles'."

The sound of bubbles emerged from the living room and Reid said in a tight voice, "I don't remember any of that, and I'm inclined to think you're making it all up for sympathy. But, joke's on you. I hear from a reputable source that my cuddles are top notch. So, who's really coming out on top here?"

"...yeah... whatever... freaking octopus..." Morgan scoffed, heading to the tiny bathroom down the hall. And, he did it. Morgan peed in that cup like a champ. That seals it. He's getting high. With Reid. What could possibly go wrong? Morgan screwed on the cap and cranked on the sink, turning it on. Well, Reid could make good on the promise he made earlier on the couch and kiss him. That would be worst case scenario. Reid's a little brother to Morgan at most. I mean, ick. No thank you. Incest is not on the table. So, when he headed back into the living room with his closed cup of pee, Reid cheered through a bite of cake icing smeared Oreo. 

Morgan sat down on the couch and grabbed the lighter from Reid's hands, "It's been a while, so... I'm going to lean into it, right?"

Reid nodded, "Yeah." Morgan clicked the lighter and burnt the bowl, turning off the heat before leaning in and sucking it down. Morgan barely even got a hint of it on his tongue. Reid stopped him, taking the lighter from him and crawling down from the couch to settle on the floor in front of the bong, "Alright, now. Legs around the bong." Morgan scooched over to where Reid had been sitting on the couch and opened his legs, which kind of put Reid between his knees. That should have felt weird. But, it didn't. It was kind of nice. But, don't tell that to anyone, okay, guys? This is just between us. Reid congratulated Morgan's efforts, "Yes. There we go. Now, we're going to keep it lit the whole time now. Suck it in while I light it, okay?" Morgan nodded, putting his mouth in the bong space as Reid lit the bowl. He sucked, feeling his mouth fill with a sharp, tangy smoke, burning at his throat and lungs, getting caught just where something shouldn't.

Morgan pulled his mouth off of the bong, covering it with the inside of his elbow as he was attacked by a coughing fit.

Reid smiled, "It sucks, I know. But, that's how you know it's working." 

Morgan gestured for Reid to light up the bowl again and Reid did, tugging the bowl up and down in the bong as Morgan too another deep pull of plant. This next time, Morgan's coughing was less severe. Reid nodded his head, "Yeah, you're getting it."

It hit Morgan in moments. The lightheadedness. The laziness. The half lidded eyes. It felt awesome. Like his brain was swaddled in a cotton ball and the cotton ball was filled with love and warmth. Hmm. He could get to liking this. Reid looked up from between his legs with pride, lighting up the bowl again for Morgan as he leaned down for another pull.

Within ten minutes, Morgan and Reid changed the bowl again with more pot, laughing and singing along to Dr. Horrible. Within twenty minutes, they had a pizza on the way. Extra cheese. Extra spinach. Extra peppers. Extra beef. Oh, yeah. Reid was nearly salivating as Morgan hung up the phone and they high fived, tossing the Princess Bride into Reid's DVD player with excitement. Within thirty minutes, they had changed the bowl again and brought out the wine, drinking straight from the bottle as they quoted Wesley, screeching, "as you wish". Within forty minutes, they were 900% positive that Indigo Montoya was Gideon. Also, the cookies were gone. Within fifty minutes, the pizza was there. Five minutes later, it wasn't any more. Within an hour, Reid suggested shotgunning. Within seventy minutes, Morgan had agreed to it.

They laughed while trying it, not even getting close to each other without chuckling it off. Reid pushed Morgan away from him and they'd turned it into some sort of gay chicken game. They got closer and closer every time without laughing, but eventually they got it. Morgan had taken the pull and blew it into Reid's soft lips as Reid breathed it into his lungs. His lips were warm. His cheek was rougher than Morgan thought it would be. It wasn't weird. It was nice. Reid took a pull from the bong, climbing onto Morgan's lap and took him by the back of the head, steering the smoke right into Morgan's mouth. As Morgan breathed it in, Reid moved closer, kissing his lips. Morgan closed his eyes. It wasn't weird. It was nice. It was really nice. Really, really nice. Morgan relaxed into his touch, burying his hands right into that soft, curly hair. All he could think was "what the fuck, I'm kissing Reid why isn't this awful". Morgan waited until Reid opened his lips a little bit more to introduce the tongue. Reid let out a deep moan, pressing his lips into Morgan's with a soft sigh as he moved their hips closer and closer together. Morgan grabbed his tiny waist and breathed out a moan as Reid's tongue tangoed with his. Reid felt good. Really good. Surprisingly good.

Reid pushed Morgan's face away with a blushing smile, "Told you I was going to kiss you."

Morgan panicked, worried that he was _worried_ that Reid just kissed him to make good on a deal, "Yeah. You definitely did."

Reid climbed off of Morgan's lap and grabbed a piece of pizza crust from the empty box, taking a sip out of the bottle of Merlot on the floor, "Hey, what if instead of the princes chasing the princesses, what about the princesses chasing the princes, you know? Like the world is ran by women and everything in the world is under their control? How sick wicked fucking awesome would that be?"

"Yeah." Morgan said easily, missing Reid in his arms in a way he never thought he would, "Pretty sick wicked fucking awesome."

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, darlings! :) Let me hear y'alls pretty little voices.
> 
> FYI The Daily Grindr will update next week instead of this week, because I wrote this little thingy. I kind of consider 4/20 a holiday, so this is kind of my late Easter present to you. Happy high-lidays.


End file.
